Off Tilt

It won't be long before I'll be using 2/4 to support myself.

Living in Chile, things are cheap and this is feasible. I spend less than $500 a month, including rent, and I can easily make more than that every month online.

The plan is that I will play a few hours online a day and try to build my bankroll as much as I can before I have to dip into it for life support.

Then, at the end of June, I will move back to the States and go on a whirlwind poker revenge tour before re-entering the real world. I'll travel from Biloxi to Vegas to Tunica and other places, living off my bankroll over a few weeks of fun before I have to rejoin the work force.

I've been aware for some time that I may have to use my bankroll for other purposes than just playing poker.

Feeling this pressure, I've felt it necessary to try to move up in limits so that I can make as much as possible before I'm forced to dip into my winnings.

The unforeseen problem is that this pressure makes the beats seem more severe and losing less tolerable.

If my bankroll stood on its own and I had more financial security, it would be much easier to move on after a couple of bad days.

But psychologically, a hit of a few hundred dollars really sucks.

I think: "Well, there goes all the money I would have used in April. Woops."

What it comes down to is a problem of confidence.

No one can win all the time, and you have to be overwhelmingly sure that over time, the good beats will even out the bad.

I'm not sure of that, and it makes it easier to go on tilt when I lose. I'm more likely to play weak-tight and lose pots that I would have won with stronger, more aggressive play.

So I'm reminding myself that there's nothing wrong with playing the game that I can play well, without questioning my moves or letting the beats get to me: 2/4.

It'll be just fine.

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I highly recommend my friend Daniel's blog, Poker Cats. He has only posted a couple of times, but they're high-quality writings that are worth the read. Please give them a look!

Links:
PokerTracker Guide e-book
Call down vs. paired board (I'm not sure I agree with the advice given here)